In my village(Karen State) when we heard the dog barked, one sense that came into all of our mind was, run for your life. If not or you were late and left behind you would be killed or being a porter or being force labor by the Government soldiers.
The land where we grew crop was very close by the Government soldiers based. We were scare and afraid to go, but for our meal we had to. We did not speak too loud. We were worry that the soldiers would hear. We had to live quietly and be prepared of ourselves at every second. That was how we lived.
That became our habit. We hardly change that kind of behaviour. Me, myself I know that I must change my behaviour, but I can not. I am still afraid and scare of the living condition here in US. People speak too loud.
From the backgroud without any opportunities to express your mind or speak up, we gained no selfconfidence. I do not know about laws and constitutions. It is like, you won a lottor, but do not know how to cash out or you lost your receipt.
One honest thing with me is, I do not know much about the bus route. I only know route 10. That is the bus I take to go to work.
If people like me is still stupid, for those who do not go to school since they were kid it may be some kind of a hard life for them to live a long with the community here.
We need a lot of people to care, to sympthy and to understand us more.
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